you & i

by earmark

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1.
01:41
2.
3.
01:44
4.
5.
02:19
6.
03:59
7.
02:58
8.
05:19
9.
03:51
10.
11.
03:56
12.
13.
07:22
14.
05:53
15.
06:40

about

with the exception of track 1, all songs were written, recorded, and mixed between november of 2013 and early march of 2014. i sampled twin peaks, girls, and synecdoche, ny. plz don’t sue me

if you care about this, thanks

credits

released March 15, 2014

shouts out to heartbreak

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all rights reserved

about

earmark Chicago, Illinois

really happy songs for really happy kids

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Track Name: can i watch
can i watch the
sun set from the
front seat of your car?
like we used to do
after school days
in those first few months

i don’t know
where i’m going
but i know
it can’t be with you

no summer car rides
windows open
like i always dreamt
just half rolled windows
in the winter
for a cigarette

we’re just two human beings
we fell in love
at the seaside
carry me out with the tide
my god i tried
Track Name: i used to know her
i used to kiss her on the forehead
we’d waste days in bed

and i used to count out her pills
before tucking her in

i guess you shouldn’t mix lovers and best friends
cause now i don’t have either one

and i could go on and on
about all the ways that
i used to know her
Track Name: graffiti
from down here it’s so cold
without you it’s so cold

we both smelled like cigarettes
and i can’t forget you

lungs tar stained
fingers turn yellow
as our friendship turns sour

new guitar strings
new paintbrushes
as our love erodes
Track Name: since you left
since you left
it’s been cold coffee
and cigarettes
skin and bone
sprawled out on the kitchen floor

you’re decorating your christmas tree
but not with me
not with me
not with me
not with me
not with me

i thought your bed was ours
but i guess that i was mistaken
just like i thought the city would be ours too
but now i don’t even wanna go outside
for fear of running into you

well i’m happy
i swear i'm happy
yea i’m happy
oh i'm happy
i swear that i’m happy
yea i’m happy
i'm happy for you

since you left
it’s been cold coffee
and cigarettes
fading memories
of the person i became
Track Name: to the stars
well my feet ache
cause lately i’ve been picking and peeling away the skin
in hopes of erasing my footprints
and starting all over again
all over again
all over again

heads you win
tails i lose
heads you win and tails i lose
gimme something to stop the blues

stop the blues

and i wish you would take me to the stars again
but even stars fade out
even the stars fade out

heads you win and tails i lose
gimme something to stop the blues
Track Name: duke
my mom she asked me
“where do you go at night?”
i said i gone to bury duke in the backyard
but i couldn’t bring myself to dig that hole
so i took him out to the sea
the same place you used to sit next to me
and threw him into the harsh winter waves
the moon was indescribable last night
and you weren’t there to see it with me
you treat me different now
but i keep the old you alive inside my head
just between you and me
i can’t even remember what it was that tore us apart
sorry that i had to go and bury your bestfriend
i’ve had to bury so many of my own

so load your six shooter
i’m no cowboy
but you had no problems
pulling the trigger
you had such an easy time leaving
so why is it so hard for you to leave my mind

so load your six shooter
i’m no cowboy
but you had no problems
pulling the trigger
Track Name: brooklyn
today i woke up in a house
i’ve never been in before
my knees are weak
and my back it still is sore

dirty clothes in the back seat of my car
i don’t even know where the fuck we are
oh brooklyn
oh brooklyn

i’m making excuses
not to see friends
i’m useless
i’m useless

this isn’t my house
it’s not a home
no place to go when i don’t wanna roam
no more no more no more

dirty clothes in the back seat of my car
i don’t even know where the fuck we are
oh brooklyn
oh brooklyn

you’re sitting pretty
but i’m all alone
this house is quiet
it don’t make a sound
it’s not a home and yours
was the closest thing i ever found
it’s not a home
and yours
was the closest thing i’ve ever known
Track Name: ebb
and just like that
all the songs that you hated me for listening to
they were they were
relevant again

i spent all of christmas eve driving to all the places
in which i wish i could forget
sitting there with you

i cried under the bride
i sang to myself
in the back my car
why’d you go so far
i sat next to a man
who said that he’d seen it all
i cried in the parking lot
off the coffee shop
where you
promised me
we’d come
to see the snow fall

i wanna go back oh yea oh i miss the city
cause everything here just makes me feel shitty
cause everything here just makes me feel shitty

i miss chicago
i miss the midnight train
i can’t remember
what you felt like anymore

your face
is a fading canvas
colors blurred
and running away
i miss playing
with your hair
you don’t love me
here or there

and just like that
all the songs that you hated me for listening to
they were they were
relevant again

i wanna go back oh yea oh i miss the city
cause everything here just makes me feel shitty
i miss chicago
i miss playing with your hair
i miss the midnight train
you don’t love me here or there
Track Name: i will cry
i will bury myself in books
to cover up the memory
of your smile and green eyed looks
i will cry oh i will cry

this song is just a bunch of cliché lines
and every single word that i write rhymes
i will cry oh oh oh oh i will cry
i will cry oh oh oh oh i will cry

and i know that if you hear this
it’ll only make you more certain that we shouldn’t exist
but i’m still stuck on those words you stitched into my shirt
and if this is right why does it still hurt
i keep looking at old pictures of how i used to make you smile
i don’t remember the last time i felt worthwhile
i will cry oh oh oh oh i will cry
i will cry oh oh oh oh i will cry

and i’m still stuck on those words you stitched into my shirt
and if this is right why does it still hurt
Track Name: 1-800-we-are-18
if someone kisses me
i know they’ll taste you on my lips
cause i can’t stop drinkin
and daydreaming
about my hands on your hips
oh

i talk about it out loud
the walls, they know the whole story
i don’t know why i said that
we both know i’m not proud

for me the new year
was bookended
by forgettable alcoholic
cheek kisses
and thoughts of how i wished
wished they’d come from you

maybe if i just stay in my bed
maybe if i just stay in my bed
maybe i’ll forget about all the things you said
maybe if i just stay in bed
i’ll forget about all those things that we said
maybe if i just stay in my bed
i’ll forget about all those things that we said
that we said
all the things that we said
Track Name: decamping
i still remember dinner with your parents
laying in bed with you after it all happened
not sure whether to laugh or cry
we went from best friends
to exchanging belongings
we found at each other’s houses
in the old stop and shop parking lot

desperation is an ugly color on me
but callousness is an ugly shade for you

everyone makes me feel sick
to my stomach
everything makes me feel sick
to my stomach

i still have the pieces of your blanket
it makes me sick
Track Name: looking down washington street
every wednesday and every weekend
i take the pink line out to the west side
and i’d be lying if i said that you don’t cross my mind

i sit on the quiet morning train
that carves a path through the city scape
running away from the rising sun

maybe in the grand scheme of things
we weren’t meant to be

i wonder if you remember
one late summer night
we met in the park right next to washington street
where i told myself i’d get down on one knee some day
we talked for a while
it wasn’t long before i made you mad
you walked away and left me on the bench alone
i got up to follow you
but you made it halfway through the crosswalk
before they came and took you away
exotic boys and girls that sculpt and color white canvas
sculpt and color white canvas

you made it halfway through the crosswalk
before they took you away from me
you’ve got your new friends up on state street
and they’re much more talented than me

maybe in the grand scheme of things
we weren’t meant to be
i should have kissed you in the park
next to washington street
where i told myself id get down on one knee

maybe in the grand scheme of things
we weren’t meant to be
maybe in the grand scheme of things
we weren’t meant to be
Track Name: tylenol pm
you came to me
last night
i’ll have you know
i didn’t make a move

i was happy
just to have you
fill by body’s grooves
i’ll have you know
i didn’t make a move

i was happy
just to smile with you
yea I was happy
just like i always was
with you

we kissed for maybe an hour
i woke up early and took a shower
i used the shampoo
that smells like you
i closed my eyes
and i sighed
cause every time i shower
i think of you and yours
explanations i want more
so my mouth with poetry of you it pours
every time i shower
why does everything turn sour

when you visit me in my dreams
i hope that the other boys you date
won’t think you’re cheating on them
cause i won’t stop taking tylenol pm

i wanna see you in my dreams
it’s the only way you’ll talk to me
if i wanna see you
in my dreams
well i’ll do it
well i’ll do it

when you visit me in my dreams
i hope that the other boys you date
won’t think you’re cheating on them
cause i won’t stop taking tylenol pm
Track Name: peony
i wonder if you still have those roses
hanging in your bedroom
and the picture i developed
or did you rip them both to bits
or did you rip them both to bits
when you got home from the airport

i still have the flower
i pinned on my collar
i am still the same
my hands are still stained
by soil and flower matter
i keep taking showers
but my hands still smell like salt water and you
maybe that's why i'm so blue

you said that you found happiness
i guess i’m still struggling with that
try as i might
i still can’t sleep at night
but i won fifty bucks
at the casino the other night
maybe when the weather clears
and the peonies bloom
i’ll forget about these new fears

sometimes i get sick when i smoke
i’m so god damn lonely
that i’ve been thinking about
cultivating meaningless
physical relationships
but we both know i can't do that
i’m just so god damn lonely
because i left my heart at your house
somewhere along the line
and by the way
that was me that stole your street sign
Track Name: i'm sorry
i’m sorry i wrote all these songs about you
it seems like you’re okay with making small talk now
are you just playing it cool
are you okay
or are you just playing it cool
i wonder if you’re in love with somebody else

i thought you should know
i think about you when i run
and i don’t know if i’m running towards you
or if i’m running away
but either way it makes me go faster

i’m sorry i wrote all these songs about you
it’s just that ever memory
that i’d like to recall
is stained with your touch
i never want to go home again
it hurts to drive on those roads
i see you got that sweater you always wanted
i keep thinking about high school
and driving in your car
now we’re here
and nine city blocks never felt so far

i don’t think you’re awake
at four in the morning
thinking about this like i am
cause it’s been eight months and thirty five weeks
two hundred forty three days
and when i write about you
i mostly just feel like scum
i know you’ll find somebody else
that makes you cum

you’re gone
and i’m slipping from my parents too
i wanna be skinny
i don’t wanna eat
i’m retracting into myself
and it looks like you haven’t missed a beat
i know that we are through
i’m sorry i wrote all these songs about you